All posts by Kaye

March 2012 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , ,

VW Justice

Walking home from school my fifth grade year, my friend and I decided to amuse ourselves by sticking out our tongues at passing cars. At each car’s approach, we prepared our mouths to do the unspeakable; at just the right time, we thrust forth our tongues and waggled them tauntingly. I still feel the euphoria tingling up my spine at our audacity. We’d taken on the social taboos and gotten away with it! Until.

A VW bug drove past us: a small and unpretentious prey, not like bagging a Cadillac. Still, we gave it our all, then we doubled over with laughter. The VW made the block and drove past us again. Imagine my shock when the driver rolled down her window, poked out her head, and stuck out her tongue at us!

Quite a different sensation now tingled up my spine: Shock. Hurt. Anger. How could she? How mean of her to… Wait a minute.

Standing there, satchel in hand, I experienced for the first time what it was to stand in another person’s shoes: what real world justice felt like. If I could find that woman today, I’d give her a big hug (if she’d let me get that close).

This month, I’ll seek to stand in another’s shoes: to live justly in the world, remembering that everybody matters.

What are your experiences of standing in another’s shoes? Of someone caring enough to stand in yours? What are your experiences of justice, or of injustice? Share your thoughts

February 2012 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , , , , , ,

Ramah Faith

       “A voice was heard in Ramah,
              wailing and loud lamentation,
                      Rachel weeping for her children;
                             she refused to be consoled, 
                                   because they are no more.” 
                                             (Matthew 2:18 NRSV)

The above passage, drawn from the book of Jeremiah by the writer of Matthew’s Gospel, takes us to the bone. Transported to Ramah, we feel Rachel’s loss and suffering. We stand with her in the timelessness of her grief.

Perhaps you, too, know inconsolable loss
              of loved ones,
                     of health,
                            of relationships,
                                   of childhood,
                                          of dreams,
                                                 of innocence,
                                                        of job,
                                                               of....

Standing in the truth of loss and choosing faith is a hard thing. A Ramah Faith is one baptized in tears—and in fire. It is a gritty, hard-edged faith that has moved beyond politeness and into fierce-eyed determination. It is a faith that asks questions that may never, in this lifetime, meet their answers. It’s a faith that gets us out of bed in the morning when we want only to curl our knees into our chest, close our eyes, and sink into unknowing. It’s feeling that…and getting up anyway.

A Ramah faith lives with its scars.

Do you stand alongside Rachel? Have you have survived or are you dwelling this moment in Ramah? Then please consider joining our online community. Beginning next week, visit our site at www.RamahFaith.com, where you can express the truth of your loss in a variety of creative forms. Also, you can suggest ways we can serve as your supportive community in your Ramah season. Have questions?

January 2012 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , ,

Waiting With

A Spacious Place is founded on what we call our six “Playground Principles.” Read an overview of our sixth principle, “Waiting With,” below.

Waiting With is a Spiritual Direction principle that chooses not to view “Persons as Problems,” because “Persons as Problems” reduces the participant solely to his/her pain. Each person’s suffering is deeply personal and deeply spiritual. We tread on holy ground when asked to accompany another person’s pain. At A Spacious Place, we also avoid “The Lazarus Syndrome”; once we get a few spiritual practices and spiritual concepts under our belts, it’s tempting to think we can advise others. We consider it best to attend to the person and to God’s Spirit before offering any suggestions—and even then, we offer the practices as options from which the person may choose.

Instead, we favor the “Breathe with Me: Spiritual Practice” approach. We view ourselves as spiritual-practice resources to our participants, providing support and hope. We offer suggestions of practices AFTER attending to the participant’s soul and to the leading of the Spirit. We offer suggestions with humility. We also view ourselves in the role of “Midwife Waiting,” serving as midwives, accompanying and attending to what is being created in a participant. We recognize that childbirth is painful; we also know labor ends in a new beginning: in new life and in new possibilities. Rather than seek to prematurely end the child-birthing process, we attend to the birth giver, reminding him/her to breathe. We also attend to what is being birthed in and through the birth giver.
Our Waiting With symbol is the musical triangle, depicting the three-way conversation between participant, Spirit, and guide. When the guide first attends to and then responds to the participant and the Spirit, the resultant chord sounds a beautiful, triune resonance.

How do you “Wait With?” Share your thoughts. Want a more in-depth look into these principles? Sign up for our online course by emailing kaye@aspaciousplace.com.

December 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , , , , , ,

Nurturing Relationships

A Spacious Place is founded on what we call our six “Playground Principles.” Read an overview of our fifth principle, “Nurturing Relationships,” below.

The “Nurturing Relationships” principle favors “Empathetic Listening.” Active, nonjudgmental, compassionate listening carries incredible power for healing. We seek to avoid the “My Assumption is Your Reality” approach, which assumes a person can determine from another’s body language or words the others’ feelings. While such observations may guide our perceptions, each person has a right to his/her own sense of personal truth.

A Spacious Place also avoids the “You Heel!” approach, which employs defensive language to manipulate another person’s behavior. Both the “My Assumption in Your Reality” and the “You Heel!” approaches employ violent communication.

Instead, A Spacious Place favors the use of “Non-Violent Communication,” often through the use of open-ended questions. Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger lists four steps in Non-Violent Communication: Step 1—Differentiate Observation from Evaluation; Step 2—Identify and Express Feelings; Step 3—Connect Feelings with Needs; and Step 4—Make a Request, understanding the difference between a request and a demand. “Non-Violent Communication” enables us to take care of ourselves while respecting the other. Non-violent communication helps clarify both individual’s needs and also deepens trust and relationship.

Our symbol for Nurturing Relationships is a pair of shoes, because we foster relationships with other persons by seeking to stand in their shoes: respecting their experience and their sense of truth. Standing in another’s shoes also involves valuing the other equally with ourselves.

How do you “Nurture Relationships?” Share your thoughts.

November 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , ,

Creating Safe Space

A Spacious Place is founded on what we call our six “Playground Principles.” Read an overview of our fourth principle, “Creating Safe Space,” below.

When Creating Safe Space, A Spacious Place avoids flying “By the Seat of Our Pants”: in other words, beginning a session with both ourselves and our environment unprepared. Lack of preparation makes it difficult to focus on the participants’ needs. We also avoid the “Grilling and Drilling Station” approach. We do not press our participants to finish their creative work in a set time. Neither do we grill people about what they believe or drill our beliefs into them.

Instead, we get our “Exploration Station Readied.” We prepare the space and ourselves well ahead of time. Our preparedness creates a hospitable environment in which participants feel valued and welcomed. We also favor the “On Your Signal” approach. The participant decides when he/she will share and what he/she will share. We trust that each open spirit will meet with God’s Spirit if we provide a space in which that connection may happen.

The symbol for “Creating Safe Space” is a rubber ducky. We get our ducks in a row by preparing ourselves spiritually ahead of time and by preparing a welcoming environment readied for the first arriver. We also line up our duckies by letting the participants’ creative and spiritual needs guide our approach—they lead, we follow.

Share your thoughts on Creating Safe Space.

October 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , ,

Creating Safe Space

A Spacious Place is founded on what we call our six “Playground Principles.” Read an overview of our fourth principle, “Creating Safe Space,” below.

When Creating Safe Space, A Spacious Place avoids flying “By the Seat of Our Pants”: in other words, beginning a session with both ourselves and our environment unprepared. Lack of preparation makes it difficult to focus on the participants’ needs. We also avoid the “Grilling and Drilling Station” approach. We do not press our participants to finish their creative work in a set time. Neither do we grill people about what they believe or drill our beliefs into them.

Instead, we get our “Exploration Station Readied.” We prepare the space and ourselves well ahead of time. Our preparedness creates a hospitable environment in which participants feel valued and welcomed. We also favor the “On Your Signal” approach. The participant decides when he/she will share and what he/she will share. We trust that each open spirit will meet with God’s Spirit if we provide a space in which that connection may happen.

The symbol for “Creating Safe Space” is a rubber ducky. We get our ducks in a row by preparing ourselves spiritually ahead of time and by preparing a welcoming environment readied for the first arriver. We also line up our duckies by letting the participants’ creative and spiritual needs guide our approach—they lead, we follow.

Share your thoughts on Creating Safe Space.

September 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , , , ,

Follow the Learner

A Spacious Place is founded on what we call our six “Playground Principles.”  Read an overview of “Follow the Learner,” the second of our six “Playground Principles,” below.

2. Follow the Learner: A Spacious Place sets up an environment rich in choice-making opportunities. Participants feel safer and more valued when they are provided with a range of choices for creative/educational/spiritual exploration. We invite participants to choose activities based on their interests.

We seek to avoid the “My Way or the Highway” approach, in which the guide communicates one “right way” to do art, to express learning, and/or to think about things spiritual. Instead, we favor an egalitarian approach that recognizes the worth of all people and that honors the unique shape of each human heart.

Our symbol for “Follow the Learner” is a set of paper dolls. Rather than favor a “one-size-fits-all” approach, in which every participant, like a paper cut-out, is taught in the same way, “Follow the Learner” seeks to provide an environment adapted to each participant’s learning and creative needs.

Do you take creative risks? Would you like to challenge others in their creative process? Then you are our kind of people and we’d love to hear from you!

August 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , , ,

Experience Over Expertise

A Spacious Place is founded on what we call our six “Playground Principles.” We’ll employ the next six “Soul & Solace” columns to give an overview of each principle.

1. Experience Over Expertise: A Spacious Place employs attentiveness and encouragement while avoiding “dangerous praise.” Dangerous Praise robs the participant of power while placing too much power in the hands of the guide. Dangerous praise includes flattery, condescension, and shaming. A Spacious Place also avoids comparisons, which can create disharmony and can discourage participants from taking creative risks. Last, A Spacious Place focuses on the person and on the creative process, rather than on the finished product. While we hope participants will create art that delights them, our primary focus is on the person doing the creating. Why? Because we believe each person is creative and because we believe the act of creating can both empower and transform.

Are you willing to take a creative risks? Would you like to challenge others in their creative process? Then you are our kind of people and we’d love to hear from you!

July 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , ,

Extreme Drought

Texas is dry. Acutely. Meteorologists tell us we are in an extreme drought. Listless plants, beaten by a merciless sun, drop their leaves in surrender; their once regal green pales to a dead yellow. Then, a few weeks ago, a couple of clouds drifted by, spat out a few drops of rain, and cruised off. I stepped outside afterward, and radiant green greeted me. The plants held their heads high.

We’ve not seen any rain since then, but the plants still retain their green. Hope is powerful stuff.

In seasons of extreme drought—from the trauma of divorce to the tedium of thankless work—we can stand under water, absorbing hope through every pore.

What do you experience as “extreme drought?” Where, how, when do you find hope enough to hold up your head?

June 2011 Soul and Solace

Creativity/Spirituality, , , , , , , ,

On Parade

While strolling through Austin’s Old Pecan Street Festival, we happened on a strange parade: three children, stair-stepped in height, marching single file through the crowd, heads down, hands holding foreheads. Those are some very worried children, I thought—until I saw the steady drip, drip of clear liquid between the largest child’s fingers. The three were applying ice cubes to their foreheads—Texas heat, meet the ingenuity of children!

How did this “mobile cooling unit” idea come into being? Was it one child’s brainstorm? A group inspiration? Had one of them “applied” the method successfully in the past? However the idea was birthed, all three knew—and literally applied—a good idea when they heard one.

What powerful, imaginative ideas surround us! This month, let’s be inspired by inventiveness. Let’s scope out great ideas. And let’s take it one step further: let’s put feet to inspired ideas and take them on parade, whether we’ve iced our foreheads or not!

Where do you find great ideas? What do you do with them?