Snips and snails and puppy dog tails, that’s what little boys are made of.
 
Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of.
 
Blue for boys. Pink for girls.
Trousers for boys. Skirts for girls.
Short hair—boys. Long hair—girls.
He/him. She/her.
 
Our maxims, our dress codes, our societal norms, even our language classifies gender as either/or: B or G, M or F. Until recent years, I didn’t know otherwise.
 
I learned that every person’s body contains both male and female hormones: testosterone and estrogen. It’s just a matter of degree. At our birth, a doctor, observing our physicality, assigned us a sex. And then, based on that determination, our culture took over and taught us how to behave: in other words, constructed our gender. 
 
Gender training starts early and lasts a lifetime. At A Spacious Place, we teach persons of all ages; and in every class someone says, “Blue is a boy’s color; pink is girly.” My response is, “Why would you let someone else tell you what you can like?”
 
October’s banned book read is the nonfiction, Beyond Magenta, by Susan Kuklin: a writer and photographer. Ms. Kuklin interviewed and photographed six transgender youth. Being nonbinary, not fitting neatly into slot M or F, is a hard life in our culture. Reading their stories, standing briefly in their shoes, leaves the reader in grief, in hope, in awe.
 
Despite the violence visited on these young people because of who they are, these youth hoped their stories would help others who are isolated and confused. Their sagas also aid those who identify comfortably as M or F, to broaden our worldview and to celebrate diversity. The glossary and list of resources in the back of the book serve as navigation tools for unfamiliar terms and ideas.
 
When we recognize the fullness of the gender spectrum, we all access a fuller range of possibilities and powers. In the words of Ted Lasso we can: “Be curious, not judgmental.”
 
I grew up as a girl. Even so, I always thought “snips and snails and puppy dog tails” sounded a lot more actionable and exciting than did a nice confection. It seems I won’t let someone else tell me what to like either—how about you?
 
What are your thoughts on gender? On socialization? On self-acceptance? Diversity? Share your thoughts at contact@aspaciousplace.com.